If Moe and Lu-Hai were to talk about Tesco sandwiches...

...this is what they would say...

Moe: 'Tesco sandwiches, well, some of them are alright, and some of them aren't, but that's life, innit. Sometimes though, you'll get one that you think's gonna be alright, and then it's not. When that happens you just have to get aggressive with that sandwich, show it who's boss. That's the only way.'

Lu-Hai: 'Tesco sandwiches! Yeah! I read an article about them once, they're actually really technical. I've heard that soon they're gonna make a sandwich that eats itself, that will be awesome. I'd actually really like to spend a day with a Tesco sandwich, really get an insight into what life is like for one, follow it around for the day, maybe with a hidden camera. I'll tell you one more thing, I eat my Tesco sandwiches in the canteen, even though I'm not allowed to. That won't stop me!'